Ride & Glide
Goatback Riding Lessons
Learn ethical, goat-first mounting techniques and the sacred art of the gentle “giddy-up?”
Proudly affiliated with ✦ Goatopia Theme Park
Train like a goat. Relax like a goat. Become the GOAT.
Welcome to GoatCamp — the only bootcamp where your personal trainers have four legs, baffling balance, and a fierce commitment to chewing scenery. Located a leisurely hoof-trot from the world-famous Goatopia, our getaway blends fitness, wellness, and light chaos in equal measure.
- ✅ Ride (consenting, unionized) goats around our scenic track*
- ✅ Climb like a mountain goat on our cliffside bouldering routes
- ✅ Guided bleat-yoga, hay hydration, and salt-lick seminars
*Riding available on a strictly goat-approved basis; some goats prefer to judge from a distance.
New dates just added
Summer Herd Sessions
3–day & 5–day escapes
What in the world is GoatCamp?
GoatCamp is a comedy-forward bootcamp/getaway featuring highly trained staff and moderately trained goats. We’re closely affiliated with the legendary Goatopia theme park next door — enjoy exclusive after-bleat hours, discounted park entry, and priority seating on the Goat-a-Coaster (front row recommended for maximum aerodynamic bleating).
Verticality
Climb Like a Caprine
Bouldering & cliff routes curated by our head coach, Sir Clambers McNibbles III.
Mind & Bleat
Goat Yoga & Chill
Transcend stress as tiny hooves wander your mat, providing pressure-point therapy and snacks theft.
Fuel
Farm-to-Trough Dining
Human-grade meals; goat-grade salad bars. Please don’t eat the salt lick. Again.
Goatopia Perks
Park Privileges
Skip the line for Goatopia headliners and get exclusive nighttime bleat-parades.
Recovery
Hay Sauna & Cold Trough
Alternate between warm hay aromatherapy and an invigorating splash in the… trough. It’s cleaner than it sounds.
Your Semi-Serious Schedule
07:00
Sunrise Stretch & Soft Bleating
Warm-up yoga with ambient goat harmonies (key of B-e-e-e). Coffee by barista Billy the Kid.
09:00
Climb Like a Goat
Technique drills: fancy footwork, fearless ledges, and not eating your own chalk.
12:30
Lunch & Salt-Lick Etiquette
A nourishing feast plus seminar on “sharing the lick without being a lick hog.”
14:00
Goatback Riding Lab
Partner with a goat mentor. Consent signals, steering by snack, emergency dismounts.
19:00
Goatopia After-Hours
Private park access, bleat-parade, and the famous fireworks: “Ode to a Ruminant.”
Pick Your Herd
Nibble Starter
Perfect intro for the goat-curious human.
$399
- Day pass to GoatCamp
- Group bleat-yoga
- Goatopia afternoon access
Mountain Maven
3-day intensive. You’ll sprout metaphorical hooves.
$999
- Everything in Starter
- Cliff coaching + riding labs
- Goatopia night parade access
Greatest Of All Time
5 days. Legend status. Goats ask you for tips.
$1,799
- Private goat mentor sessions
- VIP Goatopia perks
- Complimentary salt-lick (souvenir size)
Testimonials from the Herd
“I arrived a mere human. I left part gazelle, part stand-up comic.”
— Alex, certified GOAT-in-Progress
“The climbing clinic cured my fear of heights and salad theft. Mostly.”
— Priya, bouldering convert
“10/10 bleats. Would bleat again.”
— Anonymous Goat (probably Kevin)
Frequently Baaa-asked Questions
Is riding goats safe (and kind)?
Yes — when done on goat terms. Our program is designed with animal welfare experts. Participation depends entirely on goat consent, mood, and dramatic flair.
How close is GoatCamp to Goatopia?
One scenic bleat away. Your booking includes a special entrance for park access during partnered events and select after-hours.
Can beginners join?
Absolutely. If you can say “baa,” you’re qualified. If you can’t, we offer pronunciation workshops.
Refund policy?
Full refunds up to 14 days before your session. Within 14 days, you’ll receive a Goatopia credit (transferable, non-hoofable).